Revamping

It has been over a year since I last posted and as far as I could tell I was planning on shutting down the blog. Now, not so much. It will take on a different flavor but food and family will still be the main course. Recently my husband and I decided that we would start doing a once-a-month breakfast date rather than always going out for dinner. (it's easier with a baby too) That's right, I've had a baby since I last posted. He's 8 months old now. I can truly say from experience that "time flies". Anyway, back to the dates. Daniel and I like to plan our dates and try to do things different most of the time. Avoiding ruts is our main goal. We have jars with date ideas to choose from so we never do the same thing twice in a row. Along with that, our other plan is to work from one end of Uptown, MN to the other, eating at all the breakfast places, including McDonald's. ;) As we go I'll be blogging our way up the street, making recommendations, getting ideas for my own cooking and even commenting on the decor of these delightful(hopefully) places. To fun, family and good food!

Just because Summer's over doesn't mean you can't make a good BBQ!

I am one of those patio-less, grill-less, apartment-living folks right now. We are blessed to be living where we do but oh how I miss the days of this past summer. Lighting up the grill multiple times in a week to prepare dinners. It's like getting the best of both worlds. The fun of cooking and the wonder of being in natures kitchen. Talk about spacious! :)

So before we all get into the full swing of fall comfort foods, I have one last summery recipe to offer you. It's somewhat of a spin-off of my mom's but I'm more into exploring the spice world than she is. :) I think I get that from my dad. Hope you get to try it, and don't feel like you have to use the grill. There are ways around these things.

Nati’s Tratti BBQ Sauce

Ingredients:

· ½ cup Tomato Sauce

· ½ cup Ketchup

· 2 Tbs. Worcestershire Sauce

· 2 Tbs. Brown Sugar

· 1 Tbs. Raspberry Vinegar

· 1 Tbs. Spicy Mustard

· ½ tsp. Onion powder

· ½ tsp. Chili powder

· ½ tsp. Paprika

· ¼ tsp. Cinnamon

· ¼ tsp. Cumin

Directions:

Mix all ingredients well in a small sauce pan. Heat at med/low temp. for about 8 min. Stir frequently. Sugar will melt and sauce will brown-up a bit and thicken. (Do not cook over high heat!) Yield: About 1 ¼ cup of sauce. Perfect for BBQ chicken.

Additional Notes: For those of us without a grill, broiling in the oven is great. Be careful if you’re going to brush this sauce on your meat while it’s under the broiler as it will burn very easily. Best to broil your meat, brush it with bbq and bake it for just a couple minutes on a lower rack. Enjoy!

Waiting wrong- Started 1/1/10, Ended 10/11/10 and still learning.

What is waiting supposed to look like when you don’t really know what you’re waiting for, other than the fact that it’s something different than what you are doing now? I am the type that likes to go, go, go, until everything is finished and I’m beyond the point of tired. Being such, I don’t like to wait for anything. If it needs to happen then make it happen. If I can help it happen I will. If God… oh, but what if God is saying it will happen…only, later? Must I sit in my pool of disappointment and anxious thoughts until my life begins to head down whatever road it’s supposed to? No, a thousand times no! Wait patiently on the Lord.

Starting January 1, 2010 at my parent’s house, after celebrating New Years the previous night, the truth of what a gift I had been given during one of the hardest times in my life of waiting finally hit me. I LOVE IT WHEN TRUTH JUMPS AT MY FACE! In the life of ministry, you don’t pick were you serve and where you live, God does. All this time I had been waiting for my wheels to grip the pavement so we could move on to seminary and beyond, while completely missing the fact that every sweet moment I get with my family is a gift. There could be a day when seeing their faces and feeling the tenderness of their hugs will be rare and greatly longed for. This time is good and God is giving it to me. Why am I in such a hurry to go? I’m not only missing the smell of the roses, I’m trampling the garden. I’ve been waiting wrong. Waiting with my eyes closed to the blessings of today, only willing to open them if I can see tomorrow’s blessings. Sure it seems like we’re always at Mom and Dad’s house, but I know I’m loved when I’m there. How dare I wish away the moments I get with them just to get on with an unknown life! Both sets of parents happen to be the best in the world, though often they only see their downfalls. Even all of our friends agree that we are extremely blessed to have them.

My nieces and nephew are constant sources of joy and laughter. I feel as though God smiles on me through them. The things they say that turn my heart to melted butter, or their latest accomplishment that I need to see in order to be impressed. I’m impressed that I get to be auntie every day. What if I only get to see them in pictures and hear them on the phone one day? Then I’ll be in hurry to get back to them.

I wrote this 10 months ago and it’s even more true as I sit outside of Daniel’s classroom here at Bethlehem while I wait to go to work. I do long for those sweet moments but there truly is a peace that overshadows our living here. He has made us to dwell in this green pasture and even though our lives are moving at the speed of light our souls are at rest beside the cooling still waters of a faithful Shepherd. It’s is worth the wait to be here and be plunged into ministry and the Body-life of Bethlehem.

As plans for coming up here where being made, everyday it became more clear that this is where God wanted us to be. Daniel and I were planning on going to Southern Baptist Theological Seminary up until December. We went on a walk and he randomly mentioned applying for Bethlehem, which only accepts 15 students at a time. I promptly said yes before I even thought about it really. If I had I think I would have reasoned it right out of the way because of fear. God didn’t leave room for that! He sent in his application a day before the deadline and then we waited and waited and waited to hear from them. Faith rose and fell during that time and finally we heard. “Daniel, this is Connie. I’m happy to tell you, you’ve been accepted into the program.” He had a couple interviews and had a ton of paperwork to fill out but it was worth it all. Then we had to find a place to live. We searched, came for a visit to check some places out. Nothing seemed right. I was dismayed again. We started looking in other areas and God lead us sweetly to St. Louis Park, just on the west side of the city. It’s beautiful and needing the Gospel. When we finally made the drive up in the moving van and car, we were blessed to have friends that drove with us. We pulled into our neighborhood and I squealed. It’s the type of place I’d dreamed of living but thought impossible if we were going to be in a wartime lifestyle during seminary. God just put that cherry on top for me I think. Within a week I had a job and in two weeks was working for Starbucks too. God supplies so that we can bless others and that is what we wanted to be able to do. Daniel had already been hired at Bethlehem to teach and lead the senior high age group. It’s what he loves and he gets paid for it. I get the benefit of knowing the youth too and loving them with him. The wait was worth it all.

The months between then and now have been some of the hardest and the best. We were living with my parents from February-July and really got to test each other’s patience and open up our arms to whoever needed love in the moment. I wish I had opened my arms more. I definitely received it, especially when I began my road of recovery from bulimia. I’d been struggling with it in secret for over a year and needed to have the support of family when God finally pushed me into the light. Daniel, my parents and the rest of the dear folks that love me had no judgment as I had feared but only love and grace to hold me up to Jesus. I still struggle but I know that they are praying for God’s strength to be made perfect in me so that I can have victory. If I can lean on Him when I don’t know where my life is going, I can lean on Him to bring me into the land of freedom from bondage. It’s also worth the wait if I’m willing to be patient and hope in God.

I’m hopeful for the day that I can say, I’ve arrived! And, oh for the day when I can hear Christ say “welcome home, you made it my child”.

Pealing off the mask

I know it's been a while since I posted last but there's a good reason and not just that I've been too busy. Not too long after I posted I was Confronted with the bitter realization that I had a more serious sickness than what I had thought.

I don't know really how much to say here but I do want to make myself vulnerable in order that I will be accountable and truthful even if it's painful to be this exposed.

June 12 I discovered I have been suffering with Bolimia Nervosa. It's an after effect of Lyme's and Anorexia. I never thought I would be "one of those people" that struggled with such things. This very reason is why I kept it hidden for so long from so many. I didn't want to be thought of as messed up in the head or a glutton or any of the other connotations that may come with this. It's been over a year and the further and further I went without facing it the more and more trapped I became by the lies that my imaginary "perfect me" was going to one day win. When it didn't win, I hated myself. Everyday I'd tell myself "I will be perfect today, no binging, no purging". Everyday I'd go to bed felling like a complete looser. I wanted God to help me but on my terms. He says Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16

Hiding never heals! That has been the biggest battle and the sweetest taste of victory I have known. The more I tell those I love what is going on, the more love I know from them and from my Savior. He has given me victory and it is taking me a while to realize that as I still fail the test some days but I know that my hope is not in a false image of who I want me to be but I have a promise from my loving Creator that He has made the perfect me for right now and every time I hide I battle.

Please pray that God will continue to remind me in every moment that I am free and I am loved right now just as much as I could ever be.

My husband has been the most supportive and caring, patient person I have ever known, and if for no other reason I want to be better for him.

I hope to one day use this experience to help other young girls who struggle with these issues and let them know there's acceptance in the Father and so many people around them.

Trusting and thanking you for understanding.

Feeding the soul,

Natalie

Food for Thought

I’ve slowly been studying through James and finding it hard to read one verse without breaking down, almost in discouragement, that I fail miserably at “being a Christian”. I can’t imagine what it would be like to try and live life for Christ without Christ. He holds me to himself while he molds, breaks, reshapes and bends me to sanctification. Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to the cross I cling. Yet I’m not always inclined to cling, He’s always holding me to it. “look at the cross Natalie. Look at the love Natalie. Look at the sacrifice.” So I look to Jesus the author and finisher of my faith. I can’t look at myself and have any hope that one day the “mirror” in James will show me any spiritual success. I have to look at Jesus, hope in him that he will bring faiths fruit to full ripening in me.

Sunday I heard a message that pierced my heart to the core. It was from 1 John2:15-17.( Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.) As we were encouraged to examine our hearts and bring to the surface those things that are from the world that are preventing us from loving the world the way the Father does. It wasn’t the first time I’ve done something like that but for the first time I wasn’t examining the material things I’m attracted to in this world or the cultures of the music world or the styles of the age. Frankly, I’m not so caught up in most of that. What I did see was my aptitude for an attitude that is worldly. A selfish attitude. A prideful attitude. A sarcastic attitude. A desperately wicked heart. Oh Lord, Save me from myself! Did Christ display those attitudes? Was he impatient with people? Was he self-centered? Not at all.

As I began to read through the rest of the book of 1 John this morning it came to light that I am in great need of being sanctified. Surprise! But whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked. (1 John 2:5-6 ESV)

I want the love of God perfected in me. Don’t you? Where is your heart in relation to loving the world the way Christ does? I pray that the Body of Christ will grow in love with its Savior and out of love with the course things that proceed out of this fallen world of sin.

Sweet stuff

Just made some Strawberry Lemonade Bars for our coffee shop,Jumpstart Java. It's getting to be that time of year for eating fresh fruits and drinking cold lemonade in the sunshine.

Recipe

1/4 cup softened butter

1/2 brown sugar

1/4 lemon juice

1 egg

1 tsp. pure lemon extract

1 box white cake mix

1 1/2 cup oats

1 cup strawberry preserves

Beat butter and sugar until light. Mix in egg, lemon juice and extract. Add mix and oats and stir to combine.

Set aside 1 1/2 cups of dough for topping. Press remaining dough into greased, floured, 13X9 inch pan. Evenly spread preserves over crust. Crumble topping dough with fingers over preserves. Press gently down on crumbs to secure. Bake in 350 degree oven for 30 minutes. Let cool completely before cutting.

Enjoy with your family and friends!

Greek Meatballs

3 Slices of torn white bread, crust removed

1 lb. Ground beef or pork

1 Large egg

1 cup Finely minced onion

2 Large cloves crushed garlic

2 Tbs. Olive oil

1 ts. Ground cumin

1/2 cup Chopped fresh parsley

2 Tbs. Chopped fresh oregano

1/2 cup Flour

Oil for skillet frying

Soak bread in water and squeeze it dry. Mix all ingredients except flour in food processor. Do not over blend. Wet hands and work into walnut size balls. Roll in flour and flatten slightly. Preheat oven to 230 degrees. Heat oil in skillet. Drop a touch of flour in the oil to test if it's the proper temperature. It will sizzle and brown the flour. Place half the balls in the skillet and fry for 4-5 minutes on each side. Place on an oven safe plate and leave in oven to stay warm while you finish the rest.

I cooked my sauce in the skillet with the drippings so as to rescue those wonderful flavors and enhance the sauce.